Dealing with guilt as a caregiver

Guilt is a normal part of caregiving. It’s normal to feel guilty about the things you didn’t know before, or the parts of caregiving that aren’t going as well as you’d like them to be.

The good news is that there are ways to move past these feelings — including learning how to deal with guilt in new and better ways!

Guilt is common, but it’s important to learn how to move past it. You may feel guilty about everything from the way you interact with your loved one and her caregivers, to whether or not she had a good life before she became ill.

When you’re feeling guilty about something, there are several ways you can deal with those emotions:

• Learn more about dementia and what you can do to help your loved one live as independently as possible. This will help decrease the amount of guilt in your mind because it gives clear direction on what needs done and who should be responsible for each task.

• Share your feelings with someone who understands—like another caregiver or family member—to help put things into perspective
• Give yourself credit for the parts of caregiving you do well. One of the most important things you can do as a caregiver is to give yourself credit for the parts of caregiving you do well.

• Focus on what you’re doing right, rather than focusing on what you’re not doing well. This can be difficult when it comes to guilt, but if your mind starts wandering toward negative thoughts about yourself and your performance in this role (especially if there’s no one else around), then just stop! You are doing great! You’re helping someone else live their life—and that’s pretty awesome!

• Don’t beat yourself up over past mistakes or failures; focus instead on how much progress has been made since then and celebrate those achievements instead of dwelling on failures from years ago when things were different or harder than they are now.

• Share your burdens with someone you trust. Don’t bottle things up! If you feel guilty over something that happened in the past, let someone else know—a friend, family member or professional counselor can offer advice on how best to handle it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! People who understand what it’s like being a caregiver might also be able to point out ways that could make the situation better (or at least more bearable). They may even have time available during their day that they could use toward working with caregivers like yourself if they’re willing.”

• Find a support group. If you’re looking for support, consider joining a caregiver group. There are many options available and they can help you find others who are going through similar experiences or learn from their stories. Experiences like these could be very useful in helping other caregivers manage stress, or even give them ideas of how they might be able to help themselves as well.

Don’t blame yourself for what you didn’t know in the past — only focus on things that are in your control today. You can’t change the past, so you shouldn’t feel guilty about things that have happened before. Instead, focus on what you can do now. It’s okay to ask for help from family and friends when needed.

An assisted living center or home health care services that can help you provide basic needs like bathing and feeding is another option.

Guilt is a common emotion for caregivers, but it’s important to recognize that it does not have to be your normal state. The best thing you can do is seek support from others who understand what you’re going through, take time for yourself, and don’t let the guilt consume your life.